Pursuing Love
I took a slow scenic ride home from the post office this evening. It was dusk, and the sun had almost set, so it wasn’t completely daylight or nightfall yet. It was just dark enough for the beautiful lights and glowing memorials to catch my eye as I drove past the cemetery. I don’t believe I have ever been down that stretch of road at night. But, if I have, I will admit to never noticing what I saw tonight. Brightly decorated memorial displays could be seen all over the cemetery. Carefully hung twinkle lights and what appeared to be various shapes of glow stick items made what is generally a sad place instead look so cared for.
I called my sister in California to share it with her; it was so touching and thoughtful. My heart was filled with so much emotion. Someone loved these people enough to continue to make the final resting place bright and remembered.
Loved Properly
The thing that won’t leave me alone since that ride home is that there are so many people, children, and full-grown adults who have never been loved properly. Not by parents or those who should have covered and protected them in their vulnerable years. Neither by spouses or individuals with whom they had romantic or platonic relationships. I think the saddest thing is that many people have never even had healthy self-love.
I thought about the love passage of scripture on my drive home and what God’s idea about love is. Even with the vast amount of “relationship” information available, it’s common for people to choose or accept the label of something called “love,” which in so many scenarios is not anything close to love. I have done it too. I have entertained and participated in relationships, situationships, fantasy-ships, the idea of what it could be, looking for something that I didn’t have inside of myself. I am honest enough to say that failure was the outcome of every one of those.
When you have not been loved properly, you don’t always know what that love should look like. Who can be held accountable for not being able to discern or even deny what you have not experienced? That void creates a pursuit that doesn’t always lead to the right outcome. Some would rather be mistreated than be alone.
God’s Template for Love
This is what I believe God would have for me to share with you today. The desire to love and be loved came from Him. It is part of our fundamental human needs. Here is His truth concerning what love is and what it is not.
“Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 TPT
The parts of this that stand out for me is that love is large and is a place of safety and shelter. It waters you and leaves you better than it finds you. This is the standard for them, and it is the standard for you and me as well. We can’t expect perfection out of people or even ourselves. But when we open our hearts to receive God’s love first, it can set our perspective and expectations from relationships towards a healthy model. That search to fill a void shifts to a desire only to have what God’s heart is for your life. His thoughts toward you are to bless you, and that includes the area of your need and desire for love.
My Prayer
Father, for every person who has ever been mishandled, rejected, or even abandoned, I pray that they will open their hearts to the healing power of your Word. Help them to release anyone who failed to love them properly. Let them receive and experience the safety and shelter of Your love. I pray for new seasons and opportunities for your people to thrive in God-centered connections with others and to grow in a love for themselves. Let the pursuit of love bring them to the blessing You have in mind for them. In the name of Jesus we pray. And it is so
♥Liz